Application for permission to date my daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and
current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor

Name:________________________ Nickname/Alias:___________________

Date Of Birth:____/____/____ height:______ Weight:______ I.Q.:______

G.P.A.:________ Soc. Sec.#______-___-_______

Driver's License#____________________

Boy Scout Rank:_____________Good Standing: Yes_____No_____

Home Address:_______________________________

City/State/Zip_____________________________

Home Phone#: (___)___________ Car Phone#:_______________ Pager#:__________

Do you own
Van?____
Truck with oversized tires?____
Car with a trunk full of speakers?_____

Do you have any of the following:
An earring_____
nose ring______
belly button ring_____
piercings on any other body parts_____
Tattoo?______

Explain:_____________________________________________________


(If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue and leave the premises immediately.)

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
________________________________________________________________

Church you attend_____________________ How often______________________
Best time to interview your pastor?_______________________

Fill In The Blank. Please answer freely, all answers will be confidential.

If I were beaten, the last bone I want to be broken broken is: ____________________________________________________

The one thing I hope this application does not ask me is ____________________________________________________

Now answer the question you filled in on B
____________________________________________________

NOTE: If you have answered any of the previous questions dishonestly (and I will find out), discontinue application. It is advised that you leave the premises quickly keeping your head low and running in serpentine fashion.

I swear that all information provided above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, electrocution, and/or hot pokers.

_____________________________
Signature (This means sign your name)


Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your
application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases
answering to the names GUIDO and LOUIE