Grace Based Parenting/Discipline

When Haley first came along, I decided that our parenting was going to be: "I'm gonna do my own thing, you know go with the flow, keep it loose and easy, not stress about milestones and achievements." Since then, we've made it past the "Oh-my-gosh, what-in-the-world-am-I-doing, I-don't-want-to-screw-up-my-kid, I'm-going-to-freaking-lose-it-if-I-don't-get-some-sleep/shower/time for myself"-phase. I've decided that my parenting needs a better direction. (I think I've known that for quite a while now, but have now decided to do something about it.) I've been reading about different parenting strategies and came across Grace Based Discipline (or Grace Based Parenting) and it sounds very interesting to me. I'm going to order a couple of different books about it and I thought I'd start with these:

Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel:
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Kimmel, author and founder of Family Matters ministries, likens many Christian parents' attempts at rearing children to putting together a puzzle without first studying the completed picture located on the box's cover. Kimmel states that families of faith tend toward extremes, either being overly permissive or overly legalistic. This is not a particularly new concept, but Kimmel pulls it off with interesting storytelling and sound biblical parallels. He says Christians frequently believe that the battle for a child's heart and soul is fought on the outside-with rigid rules and boundaries-when in fact just the opposite is true. He underscores the importance of communicating the unconditional love that Christ offers and affirming this timeless message of grace to one's family. Despite the numerous examples the author cites where parents fail, this text is overwhelmingly upbeat with hope and possibility: Parents who strive to live a life of faith characterized by daily trust in God will pass on this message of possibility and potential to their offspring. Kimmel asserts that this "radical" mode of parenting will meet the three essential needs in kids' lives: for security, significance and strength. He assures parents that these needs can be met with grace-laced love, purpose and hope. Kimmel's gentle heart is evident in every chapter, and his obvious passion will spur frustrated parents to keep at the task with new resolve and optimism.
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Book Description

Parents in our post-modern world tend to be committed to but anxious about their child-rearing responsibilities. They have tried countless parenting books on the market telling moms and dads what to do and how to do it. Many of these are rigid, fear-based books that leave a large number of parents feeling directionless.

Now, there is a grace-based solution from Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries. Grace-Based Parenting is a refreshing new book divided into two parts: the needs we are trying to meet in our children and the delivery system for how we meet them.

Kimmel recommends creating a grace-based home environment that allows children to meet their full potential, to parent children in the same way God parents us. He presents a child's true needs--according to Scripture--and provides parents a realistic, do-able way to meet them. The result--spiritually strong children who grow up with a sense of calm and a heart full of purpose and confidence.

Parents will welcome Grace-Based Parenting.

Families Where Grace Is In Place by Jeff VanVonderen:

Editorial Reviews

Book Description

Building a Grace-Filled Marriage and Raising Creative, Contented, Capable Children Without Legalism or Manipulation.

Christian parents want to do things right. They put their best efforts toward having a Christian marriage and raising Christian kids. But many end up tired, discouraged and feeling like failures. Why is that?

From both his professional and personal experience, Jeff VanVonderen shows that the primary cause comes when Christian husbands, wives and parents focus on a spouse or child's behavior, then set out to apply pressure, make rules and control attitudes and responses. When people spend their lives trying to transform or "fix" their spouses and their kids, the natural result is exhaustion, depression and the hopeless sense of wanting to bail out of it all.

Here is a message about how God's grace can transform relationships within a marriage and family. The first step is learning the simple difference between God's job and ours. God's part is to fix and change. Our responsibility is to depend on the Holy Spirit, serve our families and help to equip them to be all they can be. Healthy relationships between husband and wife, between parents and children, are possible only when the filter of God's grace is placed over the processes of marriage and parenting. The Christian family's ultimate goals of harmony, obedience and full potential can be arrived at without using legalistic and manipulative methods.

Pregnancy #3: Week 17

Week Seventeen

• By week 17, your baby weighs about 4.97 ounces (140gm) and is 5.12 inches (13cm) long.**
• He or she has a much more normal "human" appearance now. She holds her head more erect and her body and limbs are longer in proportion to her head.
• Pads are forming on his tiny fingertips and toes. Soon those individual swirls and whorls will be apparent.
• Her eyes are looking forward now, but they are still firmly closed.
• Meconium (composed of products of cell loss, digestive secretion and swallowed amniotic fluid), is accumulating in the bowel. This black gooey substance will become your baby's first poop!
• The umbilical cord is growing thicker and stronger and continues to rush blood and nutrients to your growing baby.*
• If your child is male the prostate begins to develop.
• Her skeleton is tranforming from cartilage to bone. The bones remain flexible to make the journey through the birth canal easier.

**: My last ultrasound showed that the baby was weighing 6 ounces at week 16.
*: The ultrasound also revealed that my cord has three vessels- that's very good!