Let me tell you about a sweet little house in Illinois… our house

It was a little cape-cod style house built in the fifties. It had two bedrooms, two baths, a cozy den in the basement- 1200 square feet.

Old Glory waved in the front of the house. The front flower bed had neatly trimmed shrubs. The bed was also home to over 100 tulip bulbs that I planted the first fall we moved in. The spring of 2002 brought a beautiful harvest of red and yellow tulips. Thanks to the neighborhood bunnies and squirrels who apparently loved to eat bulbs, I never had more than a handful of tulips come up after that spring.

Flanking each side of the two picture windows were charming wood shutters with hearts cut out of each one. They were painted green and contrasted nicely with the gray siding that was installed in the fall of 2002.

We walk in the front door and I see the living room- the glorious red living room. Tomato bisque. Brad cursed (more than once!) about painting that room red, but I absolutely loved it. In the corner are the wood bookshelves that Brad made and installed. I can see the original wood floor- gorgeous even with its imperfections. To the left, I can see my scrapbook desk. It was always packed with my latest purchases, and I spent many hours there with my Hermafix and paper trimmer. I can see our Christmas tree too: with a tiny baby clothed in a red velvet dress; the same baby a year older, wearing a blue velvet dress; then two babies… then three all posed in front of the tree with their gifts.

We turn left, and there’s the nursery. The ceiling was painted blue with free-form stars sprinkled all over. One star in particular was misshapen, and became known as the “broken star.” Brad cursed while painting the ceiling (notice a pattern?), but later claimed it to be his Sistine Chapel. J I see a crib, a changing table, a glider and ottoman, all ready to be used. Later I see that same room with not only the crib and changing table, but also a twin bed. I can hear the oldest two laughing, playing, fighting and crying.

Then there’s our room. I see our bed: with my prized Ralph Lauren bedding (which is being retired), a crib, a rocker and a chest of drawers. I remember sitting in that room watching the terrorist attacks unfold. I remember sitting on the bed learning the news that my grandfather had passed away. I remember laying in the bed for days on end because of complications with each pregnancy, and later because of my struggle with depression.

Back down the hallway was the kitchen. I loved that room. Laminate wood flooring, white kitchen counters, brushed steel hardware, my side-by-side fridge. I remember looking out the back window and seeing our huge pine tree. We hung a squirrel feeder and loved seeing “Sam” come and eat the corn. I see the kitchen sink and remember washing bottle after bottle. I remember standing at the sink and learning that my other grandfather had passed away. I see the hole that Brad cut to install the new dishwasher. I see the new pantry being put in. I see the “non-doored” cabinets to the left of the sink that displayed my Fiesta collection. I also see the “non-doored” cabinets to the right of the sink that held my cookbooks, little picture frames, and my radio. I see the pendant light that Brad and his dad installed over our eating area. I loved that kitchen.

Down in the basement, I see the den- the reason we bought the house. A room that had just been completed before we moved in. That’s where we really lived- played, ate, slept, talked, read. Toys all over. Books on the tables. I remember running down the stairs to Brad with a positive pregnancy test in my hand. That was spring of 2002. A little girl debuted in the winter of 2002. A little boy came along in the spring of 2005. And another little girl arrived in the summer of 2006.

Out in the back I see a swing that was a Mother’s Day gift. I see our drive-way covered in snow (13” worth!). I see it colored with sidewalk chalk, littered with toys. I can smell the delicious hamburgers and corn on the cob that Brad grilled so many times.

I remember the last time I walked through the house- empty and echoing, punctuated by the sound of my tears falling onto the floor, void of all the things that made it home.

It was just a house- a sweet little house in Illinois.

I'm so giddy!

Our cable and internet are being installed/turned on tomorrow. THANK GOODNESS! After "borrowing" our neighbors wireless network for over a month, I can't wait!