The story of Meagan Jean
May 4, 2005: Our second child, Zachary arrived in our lives at exactly 9:00 A.M. We had one boy and one girl. We're were done having kids, right? Wrong.
Summer, 2005: Between our garage sale, eBay and friends, we gave away all of our tiny baby clothes and maternity clothes. Every stitch of it. Except for some outfits that I *loved* Haley in. I mean, loved those outfits. I was puzzled as to why I couldn't get them to sell on eBay or at a garage sale. That's when the niggling thoughts started: Maybe we'll have another girl who will wear them.
Fall, 2005: Depression hit hard and fast. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but let's just say it was awful and it's something I don't ever want to experience again. Fortunately, my counselor directed me to a psychiatrist who helped me straighten out my medicines. My emotions were all still churned up after this whole thing, but at least I was heading in the right direction.
Late November, 2005: I went to an orthopedic specialist to have him check out my knees. (My first knee injury came during a game of capture the flag at Eagle Lake Camp. The second injury came after a nasty fall during a skiing trip during Spring Break my senior year in high school.) After a preliminary x-ray, it was discovered that both of my knees are arthritic and that bone spurs were present. He decided it would be best if I had an MRI to see what the extent of damage was. The nurse that did the scheduling asked when my last cycle was. "Well, it has been a couple of months. I've had a rough go of it and my body is all off right now." She said they would have me go for a blood test before the MRI just to make sure.
*Blood tests are much more accurate detecting the hormone that is produced when a woman is pregnant.
I arrived early for my pregnancy test. The lab tech gestured down the hall and mumbled something about the bathroom. I told her that I was sent for a blood test and she shook her head and said, "We're going to do the regular test." I knew a blood test had been ordered for me but who am I to argue with someone who had a pocket full of needles and other instruments of pain?
I was sent down to the basement to where the MRIs are done. After the second longest wait in history (the longest wait was still to come that day), a smiling nurse called my name. She sat me down behind this curtain right behind the door. What a weird dressing room, I thought.
The smiling nurse then said, "Your pregnancy test results were inconclusive so we're going to have to send you back for a blood test."
"Inconclusive?" came my question in a squeaky voice. "What does that mean? An error in the test?"
"Well, it could have been an error or it could be that it was positive."
At that point, my head began to swim. I just can't be pregnant. Zach is only 6 months old, Haley is just now 3, and I am still an emotional basketcase. There are some days I can barely get out of bed to brush my teeth. How can I take care of an unborn baby, too? It's too soon to be pregnant again- my body hasn't recovered yet. What harm am I doing to this baby if I am pregnant?
As I navigated the hallway back to the lab, my thoughts were racing. I tried to concentrate on the chance that maybe there was something wrong with the test. I reached the lab and told them I was sent for a blood test. They had me come in while they gathered the order and vials. I asked, "What does an inconclusive mean on a regular test?" The techs and nurses looked at one another, laughed and said, "It means you're probably pregnant!"
I lost it. I started crying buckets of tears right in the middle of the lab. A very sweet tech took me to a room and sat me down. I was embarrassed but I couldn't get the tears to stop. In between sobs, I managed to tell her why I was crying. She comforted me and prayed for me right there in the room. After I settled down, she took my blood and sent me back to the basement.
On my way back to the MRI, I called Brad at work. I can't remember what I told him but it was something like, "There's a chance I'm pregnant. They're doing the test right now. How fast can you get here?" Being the great guy he is, he said he'd be right down.
I was still walking down to the MRI office and over the loud speaker came a lullaby. The hospital plays it over the entire hospital when a baby is born. I started crying again.
I called my parents to tell them what was going on and to pass the time. My mom, always in grandma mode, said, "What if you have twins?!?" Yikes! Not one but two babies?
Brad finally walked into the office and I talked with him until another smiling nurse called my name. We went down the hall to a real changing room where a doctor was waiting for me. The doctor sat down with me, and the nurse handed me a couple of tissues. The doctor then said, "Your blood test was positive- you're pregnant! But there is some concern. The hCG level was quite low- an 11. This means that you're very newly pregnant (like today) or the pregnancy is threatened."
Talk about emotional whiplash. I went from not thinking I was pregnant, to finding out that I was, to learning that the baby may not make it, in the span of thirty seconds.
July 11, 2006: I felt very ill after dinner. I had a massive headache and a killer pain in my abdomen. I stayed up almost all night. I called my doctor who wanted me to go in to the hospital to be checked out. Due to my past history with pre-eclampsia and my (then) current symptoms, it was decided that I would stay in the antepartum ward until I delivered.
July 20, 2006: I had the Cervadil put in at 8 P.M. I slept pretty well but did feel the contractions.
July 21, 2006: My OB came to check me out at 8 A.M. He said I was 2 centimeters dilated and proceeded to break my water. My pitocin drip was started soon after and so was my epidural. (Heaven in a needle, I tell you!) My OB came back to check me at 3:30. He said I was only 7 centimeters and I still had a few hours yet. With the very next contraction, I felt the overwhelming need to push. I had Brad call the nurse, and she checked me when I had the next contraction. Her eyes got wide and said, "This baby will be coming before too long!"
They stopped my OB before he left for another hospital and got my room set up. All the while I'm trying my hardest not to push. Finally I get the all clear to push. One push got her down in my pelvis. The next push came her head and shoulder and it was all over.
She was great. Healthy. Crying. Pink. And adorable. Even though she was four weeks early, she weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces and was 19 inches long.
Summer, 2005: Between our garage sale, eBay and friends, we gave away all of our tiny baby clothes and maternity clothes. Every stitch of it. Except for some outfits that I *loved* Haley in. I mean, loved those outfits. I was puzzled as to why I couldn't get them to sell on eBay or at a garage sale. That's when the niggling thoughts started: Maybe we'll have another girl who will wear them.
Fall, 2005: Depression hit hard and fast. I'm not going to go into the gory details, but let's just say it was awful and it's something I don't ever want to experience again. Fortunately, my counselor directed me to a psychiatrist who helped me straighten out my medicines. My emotions were all still churned up after this whole thing, but at least I was heading in the right direction.
Late November, 2005: I went to an orthopedic specialist to have him check out my knees. (My first knee injury came during a game of capture the flag at Eagle Lake Camp. The second injury came after a nasty fall during a skiing trip during Spring Break my senior year in high school.) After a preliminary x-ray, it was discovered that both of my knees are arthritic and that bone spurs were present. He decided it would be best if I had an MRI to see what the extent of damage was. The nurse that did the scheduling asked when my last cycle was. "Well, it has been a couple of months. I've had a rough go of it and my body is all off right now." She said they would have me go for a blood test before the MRI just to make sure.
*Blood tests are much more accurate detecting the hormone that is produced when a woman is pregnant.
I arrived early for my pregnancy test. The lab tech gestured down the hall and mumbled something about the bathroom. I told her that I was sent for a blood test and she shook her head and said, "We're going to do the regular test." I knew a blood test had been ordered for me but who am I to argue with someone who had a pocket full of needles and other instruments of pain?
I was sent down to the basement to where the MRIs are done. After the second longest wait in history (the longest wait was still to come that day), a smiling nurse called my name. She sat me down behind this curtain right behind the door. What a weird dressing room, I thought.
The smiling nurse then said, "Your pregnancy test results were inconclusive so we're going to have to send you back for a blood test."
"Inconclusive?" came my question in a squeaky voice. "What does that mean? An error in the test?"
"Well, it could have been an error or it could be that it was positive."
At that point, my head began to swim. I just can't be pregnant. Zach is only 6 months old, Haley is just now 3, and I am still an emotional basketcase. There are some days I can barely get out of bed to brush my teeth. How can I take care of an unborn baby, too? It's too soon to be pregnant again- my body hasn't recovered yet. What harm am I doing to this baby if I am pregnant?
As I navigated the hallway back to the lab, my thoughts were racing. I tried to concentrate on the chance that maybe there was something wrong with the test. I reached the lab and told them I was sent for a blood test. They had me come in while they gathered the order and vials. I asked, "What does an inconclusive mean on a regular test?" The techs and nurses looked at one another, laughed and said, "It means you're probably pregnant!"
I lost it. I started crying buckets of tears right in the middle of the lab. A very sweet tech took me to a room and sat me down. I was embarrassed but I couldn't get the tears to stop. In between sobs, I managed to tell her why I was crying. She comforted me and prayed for me right there in the room. After I settled down, she took my blood and sent me back to the basement.
On my way back to the MRI, I called Brad at work. I can't remember what I told him but it was something like, "There's a chance I'm pregnant. They're doing the test right now. How fast can you get here?" Being the great guy he is, he said he'd be right down.
I was still walking down to the MRI office and over the loud speaker came a lullaby. The hospital plays it over the entire hospital when a baby is born. I started crying again.
I called my parents to tell them what was going on and to pass the time. My mom, always in grandma mode, said, "What if you have twins?!?" Yikes! Not one but two babies?
Brad finally walked into the office and I talked with him until another smiling nurse called my name. We went down the hall to a real changing room where a doctor was waiting for me. The doctor sat down with me, and the nurse handed me a couple of tissues. The doctor then said, "Your blood test was positive- you're pregnant! But there is some concern. The hCG level was quite low- an 11. This means that you're very newly pregnant (like today) or the pregnancy is threatened."
Talk about emotional whiplash. I went from not thinking I was pregnant, to finding out that I was, to learning that the baby may not make it, in the span of thirty seconds.
July 11, 2006: I felt very ill after dinner. I had a massive headache and a killer pain in my abdomen. I stayed up almost all night. I called my doctor who wanted me to go in to the hospital to be checked out. Due to my past history with pre-eclampsia and my (then) current symptoms, it was decided that I would stay in the antepartum ward until I delivered.
July 20, 2006: I had the Cervadil put in at 8 P.M. I slept pretty well but did feel the contractions.
July 21, 2006: My OB came to check me out at 8 A.M. He said I was 2 centimeters dilated and proceeded to break my water. My pitocin drip was started soon after and so was my epidural. (Heaven in a needle, I tell you!) My OB came back to check me at 3:30. He said I was only 7 centimeters and I still had a few hours yet. With the very next contraction, I felt the overwhelming need to push. I had Brad call the nurse, and she checked me when I had the next contraction. Her eyes got wide and said, "This baby will be coming before too long!"
They stopped my OB before he left for another hospital and got my room set up. All the while I'm trying my hardest not to push. Finally I get the all clear to push. One push got her down in my pelvis. The next push came her head and shoulder and it was all over.
She was great. Healthy. Crying. Pink. And adorable. Even though she was four weeks early, she weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces and was 19 inches long.
Labels: pregnancy
posted by Lisa at
7/25/2006 10:52:00 AM
1 Comments
